I left all those tears in your bed
April 5, 2008 – 12:46 amDo you think if the anniversary of a certain date or a specific instance in your life falls on the same day of the week that it had actually happened, the memories of it all feel stronger? Or is it just me? Sometimes, I really think the things I think, feel and imagine are just me.
Here we are, five years past my return from California and this week that we are currently in (April 5th - 12th) is what I would probably refer to as my "Hell Week", if I were to compare it to the "Holy Week" of Christianity with Palm Sunday through Easter Sunday. Because at that time and still looking back now, I don’t think I have ever been as miserable as I was in that specific week of my life. The end of the end was unbearable and I know now that I am only that much stronger and smarter because of it. But had you come to me, five years ago today and told me about my life currently, where I am, who I am with and what all I am doing, I never would have been able to comprehend it. Seriously, I couldn’t see past getting up in the morning, going to work, coming home and not entirely falling apart. Which I am sure I did, more than once.
I have always notated and somewhat celebrated April 12th, not only for my cousin’s and several friend’s birthdays, but also as the day I left and really, the day that my life truly changed. Had I not left, I really don’t know what would have happened to me but I am pretty sure it would have been for the worst. Moving back to Vancouver, boomeranging back into my parent’s house and life and basically becoming a dependent again, it really was the only right option, no matter what my ex tried to tell me at the time.
It’s not that I am going to reflect all week and continually dwell on what went down five years ago. But right now, knowing what this week is, where I was and all that I have accomplished since then, I have to be proud of myself.
