Life as Betsy » Thinking

Mi Casa Su Casa

February 24, 2008 – 10:57 pm

Whenever I go away for a weekend, two things happen. One, Mike goes on a cleaning spree, so I always come home to a picked up apartment. I think its because neither of realize how much time each weekend we spend together until I am gone and he has to fill the void.

Two, I come home with ambitious ideas, goals, desires. There is something about visiting other people in their own homes that makes me taken in and somewhat reevaluate things. Not that the things Mike and I were doing need changing. But none the less, it makes me think and look at things a little differently. There was the time I came home and wanted to shop more at Trader Joe’s because my friends Tony and Tina did. Or the desire to have my home less cluttered - more simplified. And now, my desire to be more focused, to listen to more music and watch less television and to get a newer Brita water pitcher.

I am not sure if this is just a "Betsy" thing or a more general thing, but it happens nearly every time I go away for a weekend. Not so much if I am going to stay at a hotel, but more so when I am staying at a friend’s house. I think I am going to have to think more about what drives this desire and what it all really means.

The trip was lovely. The weather was unbeatable. It was wonderful to spend so much time with my brother and to see Lizzie and Anne. The entire trip was too short, but I knew it would be before I even left. My brother has a great life up there and I am so happy for him.

Posted in Daily, Thinking, Family, Blog 365 | No Comments »

Non-Political

February 8, 2008 – 4:44 pm

Non-political

I have a confession to make - I am not political. Other than knowing the basics ( like Republicans are generally wealthy, uber-religious homophobes who tend to carry concealed weapons and Democrats are usually the opposite) I just can’t tell you much. Recent laws passed? Nah. Who was running for President, who’s dropped out and who is still in the running? Kind of. I know Fred Thompson is out (because he was on "Law and Order") and couple other guys too . . . . I know Hillary and Obama both are still in and Obama has Oprah on his side and Huckabee has Chuck Norris on his. Who’s on Hillary’s side (other than Bill)? Is this like Red Rover, where the biggest team with the coolest kids wins? Does Mike Huckabee have anything to do with the movie "I Heart Huckabee"? Oh. I do remember John Edwards is out – but only because I heard about it on E!’s "The Soup" and they were making fun of his appearance on Tyra Banks’ talk show (more so making fun of the fact that he had to endure it than anything).

It’s surprising that I know, or care, so little when I have so many friends who are very political. I have friends who work in D.C. and friends who work on campaigns. I have friends who made went to college for this political stuff and the entire subject makes me feel very small and very stupid. What the hell is a caucus? And all these Tuesdays . . . why are they so important? Super Tuesday? What? Is it because it fell on Mardi Gras? What made this Tuesday’s voting more important than any other? I think I get the basics of voting with the state and the electorial college and all but honestly, after the whole issue with Florida and Bush stealing the election and the guy I voted for getting screwed . . . well, I don’t know how it all works, really. How can I cast my vote and say who I want, but in the end, its this college or cabinet or group of people who really get to choose and in the end, that doesn’t matter either.

The last time I voted – I was sick. Supersick. I know it was November 2004, because I voted after working in downtown Portland. I know I voted for Gore, mostly because he wasn’t Bush. I don’t remember much else.

Do the issues stay the same each election? More taxes, lower taxes, a woman’s right to choose? Get our troops out, send more troops over, quit pissing off the guys who control the oil and gas prices. Its all a big fat question mark and one I don’t feel all that inspired to learn more on. I just want a quick, down and dirty political lesson. These are the candidates, these are the issues, this is what you should be concerned about and this is just for show. Here are the things that will affect you the most. This is what you need to be concerned about and why. I find it hard to sit and listen to the news, because as I find out, certain news stations are more Republican and others are more Democratic.

This is just one of the topics on my list of "Things Everyone Else Got into that I Missed the Memo On, Apparently". Its as if there was one day at school that everyone got informed and jazzed up on it all and I was home sick. It was probably the day I had my meningitis scare.

Posted in Daily, Thinking, Friends, Blog 365 | No Comments »

Hyped

February 2, 2008 – 11:04 pm

Have you ever been one of the last people you knew to see a particular movie and by the time you saw it, it had been so talked up and so hyped up that you were actually disappointed in the film when you saw it? I can remember the first time that happened to me. It was "Legends of the Fall" and while I thought it was a good movie, it wasn’t the unbelievable heartwrenching, crotch-moistening, tear shedding masterpiece it had been promised to be.

In more recent times, I went and saw "Juno" yesterday with my mom. Now before anyone comments as to how wrong I am about the movie, please know that I found it quite delightful, well written, and wonderfully acted. But it was not the life-changing movie I thought it would be. I am not even all that sure why I thought it would be. I suppose it’s from several different blogs I read where those authors were just gushing about it.

I was annoyed that there wasn’t a scene with Bleeker admitting to his mother that he was the father of Juno’s baby, especially since she was such a hand’s-on, paranoid mom. I was annoyed that her half-sister’s name was Liberty Bell and that we never learned the name of the baby. I do get that - I get why we weren’t told what the baby’s name was.

I am not all that sure why it was nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards either. A number of years back, I was lucky enough to have viewed most of the movies that were nominated, but so far, all I have seen is "No Country For Old Men" and now "Juno". Personally, I am interested in seeing the other three films nominated for Best Picture (Michael Clayton, There Will Be Blood, and Atonement) but for now, I have to guess and say that "There Will Be Blood" or "No Country" will win.

Posted in Daily, Thinking, Blog 365 | No Comments »

Trim the fat

January 7, 2008 – 3:12 pm

The call has been made to my hairdresser, Gina and I am anxiously awaiting her call in return, to schedule something. Because something must be done about this hair. I’ve been wanting a change since September and I think, in general, everyone is sick of hearing about it. Of course, growing up being a girl who needed help with her hair just about every day of her life, I have every right to be sitting on this as long as I have.

We have:

The kid mullet. It wasn’t really known as a mullet back then, but as you can see my bangs went behind my ears. I give my mother much grief over this today. "How could you do this to me???"

The more mullety looking kid mullet It seemed like a good idea to add curl to this business/party mess. Also, we paired it with pleather skirts, suspenders and white ankle socks. I totally rocked the third grade.

The Permed Dorthy Hamill I sported the original Dorthy Hamill hair cut when I was an adorable toddler and attempted to do it again in 4th grade. Then, I decided it would be even more awesome to PERM it! Yeah! This photo was taken the day I had it permed. This was the best it ever looked.

The Curly but trying to look Straight and Normal without a Flatiron or a Clue Yeah . . . this never looked good. Ever. No wonder I was the designated ugly friend in middle school. Thank God for Biosilk, ceramic flat irons and me finally getting a clue. (Oh, but to have that waistline and those perky breasts again!!)

So in attempt to not have another hair disaster, I have been researching all things hair and of course, at some point, you are led to face shapes. I was ever so pleased that, for once, I have the most universal and versitile face shape (go ovals!).

Not sure what your shape is, you can look here Face shapes

But of course, weight loss and its effects on a facial structure have been floating around in my head and I couldn’t help but notice that with certain face shapes, the bone structure is just not ever really allowing for a thin face. So you could run your ass off but if you have a heart or diamond shaped face, it doesn’t matter how much you ‘melt’ away. Your face will always look thicker. You’ll never really look thin.

Fingers crossed that she calls soon and I get my hair trimmed. I’ll be posting the results as quickly as I can!

Posted in Daily, Thinking, Photos, Blog 365 | No Comments »

Smile to your face, stabbing your back

January 5, 2008 – 1:24 am

For the past several years, websites like Don’t Date Him Girl.com have been helping to warn women about crappy guys we all should stay away from. Women can sign up and build a profile while giving details of a relationship they had that went wrong with guys, for future possible girlfriends or wives to research. Now, naturally, scorned women can sometimes be overzealous, and there are probably more than a handful of lawsuits tied to the website at any given point and time. But you got to admit, it’s pretty smart.

I can’t help but kind of wish that there was a similar site for "friends". Or rather, acquaintences you’d rather not know or wish onto anyone else you know - except maybe your mortal enemies. Because they steal or lie or backstab or front stab or are just inexcusable.

A number of months ago, Sarah and I were going to do this thing with someone she’s known for years. And while Sarah and I are extremely close, our friendship is still newer and occasionally, we both feel we need to ask the other not to judge us on random things. This was one of those times that she felt she needed to warn me or run her disclaimer on this particular friend. "She tends to lie and she’ll stab you in the back if it means she’ll get further ahead in life." Knowing this going in to meet her, I gave her the benefit of the doubt but also kept her about five inches beyond arm’s length. When word got back to me that I had somehow inadvertently pissed her off with my not fulfilling something she felt I’d promised her, I was miffed, but not surprised. Sarah had warned me.

It had been a similar scene with the two of us very early in our friendship when I introduced her to my friends. When I knew I’d be taking her to meet two of the friends and that they’d had a couple glasses of alcohol, I knew she needed to be warned about one of the friends. Because there is no brakes on this particular girl’s mouth or brain or sexuality. There is no filter between her brain and mouth at any given point, so what would three double Grey Goose vodkas do to her? I knew I needed to flash the disclaimer banner before introducing her. Good thing I had because as I had predicted, drunken friend did not fail to make dumb-ass insensitive comments, 3/4ths of which probably weren’t even true.

We would hope that we only surround ourselves with the kind of people we don’t feel we need to run disclaimers on - please don’t think ill of me because I spend time with this person, or that person, or him over there either. But I would also hope that I surround myself with people who wouldn’t judge me because of the people I spend my time with, either.

Sometimes, it is just this need to warn others for their own sanity and self-preservation. When the same Grey Goose vodka gulping friend met some of my former co-workers and started spending plenty of time with them, I really did feel like I should warn them not to let her too far into their personal lives. She is very benign and endearing when you meet her - very beguiling, but she also has this need to be in the middle, the thick of everything. I’ve been known to say that I so grateful that she was living nowhere in the area when Mike and I were first dating, because only God knows how badly she would have wedged herself into the middle of that. So when I was able to reach one of those friends and speak to him privately, I tried to give him the most innocent disclaimer I could.

So if there was a website for warning people about less than worthwhile friends, would you use it?

(Mike just asked what this blog was about and I said "Bad friends". "Bad friends, huh. I don’t have any of those. You know why? Because if they are bad, they aren’t friends." I have to agree.)

Posted in Daily, Thinking, Friends, Blog 365 | No Comments »

Buckshot

December 20, 2007 – 12:10 pm

I wrote a back in August a very specific blog about my wedding and being the occasional vindictive writer, I carefully chose my words for the desired impact on a particular group of people who I knew would be reading it. My point in doing so was for them to realize a.) what they missed out on b.) what a wonderful time we had without them. Seeing as how I am no longer speaking with the people that was aimed at, I am not sure it had the desired affect, but I am going to go out on a limb and assume it did. Yeah, it makes me feel better.

But a week or so after writing it, I came to find out that a friend who had nothing to do with that particular group in my aim, was troubled by what I had written. Not specifically the same part of the blog, but she was bothered nonetheless. Her best friend had read the blog and sent it to her, asking if she thought I was jabbing at her. I wasn’t. It hadn’t even entered my realm of thinking these friends would read into that as they did. It still annoys me that I unintentionally hurt someone with something that I wrote, but I can’t take it back.

A similar situation arose more recently (this week) where I used one very small but very important word to appease certain friends and hurt other friends in the process. I am trying to process the feelings this has arisen in me, simply from my hurt friends pointing this out. It brings me to a place where I feel small and pointless and undeserving. I feel like a four year old, crawling until the kitchen table, sobbing as I announce "I don’t deserve my friends." because, really, I don’t. As graceful and thoughtful and conscientious as I try to be about the people in my life, I still manage to muck things up and feel as competent as a pregnant Spears sister.

I occasionally wonder if I shouldn’t blog as much, or about such relevant things. I could just fill my blog with quizzes and surveys and keep things kosher. But there is more to life than filling out the same questions asked 18 different ways. I did stop blogging for about nine months a few years ago, because the guy I was seeing at the time didn’t understand the point or need for it and what I was doing in and with my life at the time was not all that appropriate for public viewing. And to be honest, I really missed it. It is such a great way to chronical your life and where you were and how you were feeling at a certain point in time. My first fewer years of blogging were lost when Scribble.nu crashed and there were some really important moments there that I won’t get back.

I just hate that I can hurt my friends without knowing it or meaning it. I worry about boundries and appearances - if I comment too much, will she find me annoying? Should that be left as an email or a comment? Is it TMI for their page? Should I befriend this friend of her’s? Will she think I am just a friend whore? I know people out there who seem to be only on here to build their popularity.

I never realized that life needed so many disclaimers.

Posted in Daily, Thinking, Blogging, Friends | No Comments »

The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears

November 18, 2007 – 1:23 am

I am trying to wrap my head around friendship and what constitutes friendship as an adult. Is it someone you know that you can be comfortable enough to go up to in a restaurant and say hello to or is it the person that you can tell your deepest, darkest secrets to without scrutiny and judgment, or at least, minimal scrutiny and judgment. Obviously, there are varying degrees from best friend to close friend to good friend to old friend to new friend to acquaintance to person I used to know in school and am now "friends" with on Myspace. But is that person who you are friends with on Myspace good enough friends to call if you are in desperate need of an ear, a shoulder or a ride home after a bad date has left you stranded?

When my ex Zack and I had first broken up in early April 2003, I realized that my entire world in that small section of California was entwined, somehow, to him. Or the relationship. All my friends at work were married; they couldn’t commiserate in my sudden single-hood after four years. Everyone else I knew was somehow tied to him and his family and would most likely side with him if it ever came down to taking sides. I couldn’t call my best friend - she was living in London and we really weren’t on speaking terms due to my relationship with him. My cousins hated him just as much and pretty much everyone I had known pre-Zack I had lost contact with. What kind of a cow would I be if I were to call them up after three years to cry to them that I was broken and alone in BFE California?

So it took every last gut and ball I had inside of me to call up an old co-worker from Gottschalks, who had quit and gone to work elsewhere and ask her to be my friend. I called Cathy, nearly in tears, clearly exposing my pathetically sad ass for what it was . . . I had lived there for over a year and all I had to show for myself was . . . nothing. Please, will you be my friend? Will you and your girlfriends from childhood, high school, college take me in as if I have always been a part of the group and quickly help me forget what I am suddenly lacking in my life? It was one of the hardest calls I ever had to make, because I was putting all my hope and faith into someone I really didn’t know. How would I have responded if I had been the receiver of that conversation?

But Cathy was (and is) awesome and was totally understanding and sweet and kind about the situation. She was more than happy to call me up and invite me to the next get together, girl’s night or whatever that she and her group of friends may have planned. She listened to the situation and I tried to tell her about his new girl, in case she’d known her, but she didn’t. She pitied and she made me feel hopeful again. She probably even called. But a day after that conversation, I called my parents and they were on the next flight down and before I knew it, I was back in Washington with a changed number.

Cathy even added me as a friend when I found her on Myspace. She is still that awesome.

So how are we supposed to handle these less than close friendships? You can almost imagine circles being drawn around yourself and the people (non-family people) in your lives being placed in these circles. The best, the closest, the friends, the acquaintances . . . yeah. Everything is a circle in itself.

How are we supposed to handle a friend or an acquaintance - an old friend that holds little sway in your life anymore (if ever) that is no longer that close? When they deliberately delete you as a friend on Myspace and do it in a manner that its supposed to hurt. They email you and call light to it - You aren’t responding to me so yeah, I am deleting you. Are we supposed to let that hurt? I realize that Myspace is just Myspace. If nothing else, it is just a playground for the adolescent that is trapped in all of us. Ranking friends and counting friends and leaving comments and bashing foes and stalking people we like and people we hate and people we want to know more about.

I had an old friend from high school delete me today, complete with a carefully worded email to boot. I didn’t realize what they had done until I received the email and when I tried to respond, I saw he only allows emails from friends - so I have no way of apologizing or fixing the situation or at least saying my peace. Does it really matter? No. I haven’t seen the guy since the day we graduated high school. Will my life be any different tomorrow because he isn’t my Myspace buddy anymore? God, no. But it still sucks that he made this definite decision in the course of our relationship that is unrepairable. Maybe we’ll run into each other at a bar somewhere in Vancouver and I can say what I would have said in an email, but he probably would be standing on one of those outer-most circles in my orbit of friends. I am not going to say that he didn’t matter, but he wasn’t one of the people I wish I could have called when things were crumbling in 2003.

There are the people who boast at their small group of close friends and that’s all. I like the fact that I have the three or four best friends, the five or six close friends and the handful of other friends that I run into throughout the year and can hug and catch up with and stay in touch with. My life is rich with the varying degrees of friends and the varying histories too. I don’t erase many friends from my life because most are too worthwhile to keep around. But still, it stings when someone deems you no longer worthwhile in any degree.

P.S. I am totally tipsy right now, so forgive me if this rambles at all.

Posted in Daily, Thinking, Friends, NaBloPoMo | No Comments »

You leave me numb and I’m not sure why

November 6, 2007 – 2:11 pm

I think somewhere around the age of five is when we are taught that we should like everybody and naturally, in that frame of mind, everyone should like us. We are presented with the idea that adults are to be trusted and respected, (except for strangers who are not introduced to us by our parents and are often leaning out of cars, offering us candy and puppies) and that all children are playmates. Kindred souls, perhaps.

For the most part, I really can’t specifically think of anyone before the age of nine that I didn’t like. Sure, there were the friends that I liked more and the classmates I liked less, but it wasn’t until third or fourth grade that I can remember a classmate who I swore was only here to make my life awful. And in turn, I probably did my fair share of trying to make his too. His name was Eric B and he had huge eyes and messy, coarse blondish brown hair and wore this faded black sweatshirt all the time - not because he didn’t have much, but because it was his favorite. I do remember asking him about it once. After that year that we were continually seated next to each other and proceeded to kick, pinch and mildly abuse one another, we were never in the same class again and I quickly lost track of him. However, I will forever remember him thanks to an all too precious picture of us, along with other classmates, lined up after recess in the elementary school yearbook. Complete with my Dorothy Hamill haircut.

Eric was the first, but definitely not the last. There was still fifth grade and then middle school and the beginning of high school to get through. People who judged you on your school bag or your hairstyle or the fact that you needed braces but didn’t have them, or had braces and were stuck with them for at least another two years. People who made fun of your name, (so you changed it), people who made fun of your friends, people who made fun of things that weren’t really even all that mean, but they just seemed to annoy the shit out of you anyway. I can remember a girl in middle school making fun because I didn’t have a boyfriend (neither did she) when a ‘relationship’ consisted of a friend of a guy coming up to your friend and asking your friend if you would like to "go out". Your friend would then come to you and you would either giggle with glee or snarl in disgust and the answer would be passed through the grapevine of these friends. If it was "yes" nothing changed. Except you were "going out" with this person and in a week or two or a month, that friend of your "boyfriend" would tell your friend that it was over and you would cry and cry and wonder what you could have done differently. I knew it was stupid even when this was the norm. But still, those jabs at my lack of a "boyfriend" cut me and I was once again reminded what a boyfriend-less freakloser I was.

Yet somehow, I survived.

Most of the people who disliked me and I disliked in return I held a pretty decent grudge against until years later when we had grown and realized we were extremely young and extremely stupid. I wrote a piece over two years ago about something like this and one of the girls I talked about in the blog emailed me and we talked about it. She pointed out that I really shouldn’t have taken anything she had to say back then to heart because she was 11 and didn’t really mean what she said. But then, I was 11 too and believed her because what else did I have to go on? The loving words of my parents? The affirming words of teachers and friends? No! The words of my enemy held so much more weight back then. Sometimes, they still do.

he and I are friends now. Not hang out and get drunk, be there when I give birth friends, but friends nonetheless.

So at what point does that lesson of "like everybody - they are all new friends for you to meet" fade away? Surely, its around puberty, but at some point, the lesson does come full circle, right? Sure there is the guy at work who gets on your nerves or the neighbor who isn’t all that neighborly or that person who seems to read your blogs just to find any and all reasons to pick you apart.

What is it that stings? Generally, we all think of ourselves as nice, likeable people. Very rarely do you hear someone say "I am not a nice person. I am not a good guy." People don’t believe that of themselves, so they aren’t going to ever think or say that. But people around us judge us. They decide if we are good, worthy, likeable. They decide whether to like us or not.

Does it matter what someone you’ve never met thinks? How about an acquaintance? Or perhaps a friend you are no longer friendly with? Why do we care what people who are not in our lives think of us? So what if they don’t like us? There is a good chance you wouldn’t like them back, right?

Then there is the occasional situation where you are pitted against someone - almost forced to dislike them, when in reality, you would probably get along with them famously. You just have to hope that a good true friendship will find a way to exist against those odds and aside from all the energy spent to keep the people separated.

Point? I guess its just reaching the age and understanding that some people may not like you. They may have their reasons, they may not and their reasons can be completely false and ridiculous. But not everyone is going to like you. We live in a society where we do make snap judgements and stick with them. We believe who and what we want, even when the truth may blatantly contradict that very idea. So we reach that day and try to adjust to not being EVERYONE’s favorite. It stings, like the carefully chosen words of your Personal Public Enemy #1, but it won’t kill you.

Chances are, it will only make you a better, stronger, more likeable person to those who matter to you.

I know. Easier said than done.

Posted in Daily, Thinking, Friends, NaBloPoMo | No Comments »

We are gathered here today, to watch two people we know make a big mistake

July 9, 2007 – 1:52 pm

Finally met with my favorite makeup artist, Mrs. Kandi Sump Smith, on Friday for a makeup run through. Years ago, Kandi and I sold Lancome together for Meier & Frank. Getting back to my makeup loving, Lancome selling roots, she dolled me up to the point that Mike and I had to go out on Friday night. And to reassure him that this is pretty normal makeup for me (at least, until I had to start planning this wedding), I’ve been doing my makeup somewhat like this ever since. He’d forgotten what I looked like with makeup on and that was somewhat alarming to me.

On Sunday, I took the time to curl my hair and put on the full face of makeup before heading to my parents to start printing out the program covers. My parents moved recently into a new neighborhood and have become friendly with several of their neighbors, including a young couple who live next door. Sara, the wife, has spotted me coming and going for the last two months and waves . . . she’s noticed me often enough to realize when I rolled in yesterday, I definitely looked different. The defeated ponytail and smudge of concealer were replaced with something far more similar to the photo pictured . . . glamorous, no?

Sara asked my mom if I had just come from my makeup and hair run through and she said, no, that she did herself. And then my mom asked Sara if she and her husband Andy had had a big wedding.

"No. We were offered a lump sum of money for either a house or a big wedding. We chose the house and got married in Las Vegas."

My parents would have offered this to us, I’m sure, if they knew it had even been something I’d have remotely considered, but since I apparently (according to Mom) have been dreaming of my own wedding since I received the flowergirl dress my cousin Charlae wore in my parent’s wedding, they knew a house would be a far second in considering what to use the money for. We roughly tallied up how much this wedding is going to cost so far and it is definitely a nice down payment on a house . . .

So I thought about it yesterday. Are we doing the right thing? It’s too late now, I know. But really, should we have considered the money for a house? I really have dreamt of my wedding, like a lot of girls, as long as I can remember. To me, it really was no decision. I knew that if we’d eloped or done something small, I would have always felt like I’d missed out on something important. True, the marriage is the important part, not the party. What we build between Mike and myself is vastly more important than any white dress or perfect purple flower or matching shoes. But I would never want to feel jealous or envious as I sit at a friend’s wedding, thinking "this is what we should have done." I know myself and if I missed out on this, I would have felt that way every wedding we attended. Nice.

My cousin Tammy once told me if she’d had it to do again, she’d have taken the money, flown the family to Hawaii and had been married under a waterfall or something. I am sure there are a lot of women out there that feel the same, just as I know there must be women who went to the JP or eloped and wish they’d done something more traditional.

Of course it’s personal choice. I know Mike and I will begin saving for a house down payment in September and should have something decent in about three years. In my opinion, that’s not too bad . . .

If you could do it over again, or are still awaiting being faced with this decision, which option would you take?

Posted in Daily, Thinking, Wedding | No Comments »

April showers bring May flowers

June 1, 2007 – 11:09 am

If someone had told me a month ago of the changes that would come in my life this May, I wouldn’t have believed them. These tall tales would have made me giggle, smile and outright laugh at the strange possibilities forewarned to me. But here I am, 31 days later, changed. Granted closure and possibly forgiveness I have been hoping for, humbled by moments of pure fear and weakness that left me wondering "what if . . . what if?" and strengthened by an unlikely new friend. My rock and anchor was shattered slightly as I came to better understand just how precious life and rare true love really are. Blessed when months of prayer were finally answered and suddenly, the opportunity to look at my future with that much more shine and excitement. April was a hard, hard month and while I cannot say that May was any easier in certain ways, it is coming out far sweeter, lighter and with me breathing far easier.

My closest friends will be able to decipher what all I am talking about here.

Posted in Daily, Thinking | No Comments »